I'm not taking this for granted

"This" being medicine.

"This" being a chance to be a medical student. Which if you really think about it, is a pretty awesome job. I get to spend my days learning about things I find interesting. I'm on my feet, talking to patients and practicing skills I hope to spend the rest of my life doing. I am not really responsible for anything. Nothing is expected of me beyond being interested and showing up.

"This" being a part of patients' lives when they are at their most vulnerable. As a medical student I have time so I can spend an hour talking to and educating my patient about whatever disease and treatment is relevant. I have time so I can talk about life or anything really... and I like this time.

I can spend half the day in the library reading. Or I can spend it in the cath lab, or GI suite or wherever else my patient may need to go. I get to see medicine from the perspective of someone who knows a little but has the time to absorb it all.

I'm only 10 days in but so far I've see the textbook come to life.
Ascites with a fluid wave. Gout with tophus nodules. Stephenson-Johnson Syndrome. Hypertensive retinopathy complete with arteriovenous nicking, cotton-wool spots and flame-shaped hemorrhages.

This is medicine and this is me getting to do it.

I love this time in medical school. Third year is nearly over and I'm just happy to be here. This is good.

Day 2 and my (first) zebra = I heart medicine

So I'm only two days into medicine and so far I have a very interesting patient. I can't go into details because HIPPA and stuff but he's younger than I am and in multi-organ failure without a known cause. The obvious and regulars have been ruled out so now we are looking for something more exotic. Sucks for him, cool for me. He's an ICU patient and being only an MS III we are not suppose to follow ICU patient's but somehow I got him anyhow and I'm so glad I did. I actually want to be at work and am reminded of why I went into this, medicine is interesting, the human body is downright amazing and I am SO LUCKY to be living my dream.  I just hope that my patient's zebra is something reversible and/or treatable and that he will go on to live his life and I'll learn much in the process.

Yesterday was also interesting as it seems the "flavor de jour" was cocaine abuse. Maybe it was the patients tribute to Whitney's passing as my Attending postulated... but whatever it was we had no less than three admits for some type of cocaine related complication. Lesson of the day, love your heart, don't do cocaine and happy Valentine's Day.

Also the residents are great. We have noon conference and/or med student lectures pretty much every day and we get to do stuff but are still told to go home early/ go study and given minimal scut work. So all in all, I'm two days in and very happy to be here. Medicine rocks. San Francisco is great and I live in the same state as Dr. Boyfriend once again. All in all, life is good!

Anatomy of a 6 week Rotation

Week 1: excitement, meeting new people, figuring out who's who. this is going to be great.
Week 2: still excited to be in a new rotation, settled and ready to learn, call is fun.
Week 3: tired. time is going by so slowly....i can't believe i'm only half way done. call is exhausting.
Week 4: omg. am i still on this rotation? very tired. call is dreaded. did i mention tired.
Week 5: the end is near. i kind of like this rotation. i'm sad i only have two weeks left.
Week 6: exams, done. that was great! i can't believe how fast time goes by....

I'm just about done with OB/GYN. It was fine. I liked the OB part and tolerated the GYN... clinic and L&D were great. The OR, not so much.... but then again I already knew surgery wasn't for me. It was a good experience and I'm glad to have another rotation behind me.

IM is up next and while I'm ready to learn and excited to be going somewhere that I have autonomy and actually contribute to patients care I'm a little apprehensive about working 6 days a week for 3 months on the wards. But regardless I'm going. And then fourth year will be here so ready or not, here I go...

Cali is just 8 days away, so long New York!

My break-up with coffee

It became my New Year Resolution so to speak. It wasn't planned, it just kind of happened.

Now this was kind of a bid deal because I absolutely LOVE coffee. Latte. Cafe au lait. Regular cup of joe. I don't care just give me anything fresh roasted, organic or simply non-instant and I'm happy. I probably drink 2-3 cups of coffee on any given day and sometimes much more. There is the obligatory morning cup and then another one sometime in the afternoon. There are countless cups to drink while reading the NYT on Sunday mornings or while studying at whatever coffee shop I choose on the weekends. Coffee is my study buddy, my comfort drink, my friend.

But I was over it. And on January first I had my last real cup of coffee. I switched to black teas for a few days so in an attempt to prevent withdrawal headaches. Then I went to decaf teas only. And I survived. Now there were a few afternoons in clinic when I was convinced all I needed was a shot of espresso to make my headache disappear. (And I did get one migraine, but I think it was probably the dehydration, skipping lunch and a busy overbooked clinic that did it, not the lack of caffeine.)

Somehow I made it, including one night on call without a single cup of coffee. And I didn't miss it as much as I thought I would. However the hospital coffee leaves very little to be desired and there are no good/convenient coffee shops between home and work so that probably helped. But in any case, I now know I can live without coffee, and it isn't even that difficult. But I like LOVE coffee...

And so yesterday for the first time in almost two weeks I drove 10 minutes out of my way and ordered a grande nonfat latte. And it was wonderful. Coffee and I are back together, at least for now.

Oh, yeah, I write a blog....

Hi dear readers !I didn't forgot about you, although my lack of posting may make you think otherwise. Insert normal excuses here- busy, nothing interesting, blah, blah, blah. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the Holidays, Happy New Year to you!

So, what have I been up to? If you are keeping track at home I'm in my second to final rotation of third year. I just have four weeks of OB/GYN left and then I'm headed back to Cali for IM and then I'm a grown up MS IV! Crazy how time went by so fast.... Of course things are not quite THAT easy because I do have to take those little things called the Step 2 CK and CS, and arrange my schedule for next year, etc, etc. But I'm marching on....

Peds was amazing and everything I could have wanted in a rotation.  Great teaching, interesting cases, cute kids, good diversity and basically confirmation that I was born to be a pediatrician. Every day was fun. I heart babies, teenagers and all those in between. I was even able to spend several days in peds neruo clinic and that was amazing too. So all in all I am happy and ready to get to fourth year already so I can hang out with those kids again! Last night I was on-call on L&D and just down the hall from the nursery so I made a few trips (to check on the deliveries of course) and just because babies are way cuter and more fun than moms' in labor. Or at least I think so.

So OB/GYN. Well I started with clinic so I've gotten to see a little bit of everything and then last night on call I scrubbed for one section and helped with one NVD so all in all I'm getting to see what I'm suppose too. I feel like I'm missing the gene that makes one wax poetic about the miracle of life and witnessing a birth. I suppose I am more upset by how cold the anesthesiologist is to the patient in the C-section, how scared she seems and how horrible it must be to have a baby brought into the world this way. The patient was alone, Spanish speaking and clearly scared. Not a single person in the OR spoke Spanish, or if they did they kept quiet. It broke my heart to see her sitting there, her eyes trying to hold back tears and her entire body shaking (from cold or fear or both). I held her hand before I scrubbed in and a caring nurse or two did the same but during the actual C/S it was only the anesthesiologist behind the curtain with her and he most certainly wasn't comforting her.... but the baby was fine and patient's family appeared shortly thereafter to be with the patient and see the new baby so maybe I'm getting more upset about this than I need to be.

Of course normal vaginal delivery doesn't look like a piece of pie either. Oh my goodness, the crying, the screaming, the mess, the (seemingly) never ending labor. The vaginal delivery I saw was a bit better in that mom got to breastfeed and hold baby within five minute of the actual delivery and the family was in the room, cheering, and celebrating. So maybe magic for them, not so much for me. But babies were born and life begins anew so I'll try to focus on that positive as I sign off today.

Hopefully I'm back to regular scheduled blogging in this new year.