"This" being medicine.
"This" being a chance to be a medical student. Which if you really think about it, is a pretty awesome job. I get to spend my days learning about things I find interesting. I'm on my feet, talking to patients and practicing skills I hope to spend the rest of my life doing. I am not really responsible for anything. Nothing is expected of me beyond being interested and showing up.
"This" being a part of patients' lives when they are at their most vulnerable. As a medical student I have time so I can spend an hour talking to and educating my patient about whatever disease and treatment is relevant. I have time so I can talk about life or anything really... and I like this time.
I can spend half the day in the library reading. Or I can spend it in the cath lab, or GI suite or wherever else my patient may need to go. I get to see medicine from the perspective of someone who knows a little but has the time to absorb it all.
I'm only 10 days in but so far I've see the textbook come to life.
Ascites with a fluid wave. Gout with tophus nodules. Stephenson-Johnson Syndrome. Hypertensive retinopathy complete with arteriovenous nicking, cotton-wool spots and flame-shaped hemorrhages.
This is medicine and this is me getting to do it.
I love this time in medical school. Third year is nearly over and I'm just happy to be here. This is good.