Because I like lemonade....

I am an optimist. I may be accused of being a Pollyanna and sure I most often have on rose-colored glasses (literally, I have rose-red glasses!) but I like that about myself. I don't enjoy being depressed or anxious and I really do want the best out of life, for myself and for everyone else.

And while I like being positive I also have huge expectations. I expect the most and best out of others (and myself) and thus am quite often disappointed. Rarely can a person measure up to my ridiculous expectations and for sure I am the worst culprit of falling short. But the thing is, I can often empathize with the person and see the good in the situation and move on. Being optimistic means I forgive and forget and yet still expect better next time.

What am I trying to say? I'm not sure I even know... this post may be a bit of a ramble but I suppose I just want to say that I realize how lucky I am. I do not take my life and the opportunities I've been given for granted. Sure I've worked hard and going to medical school was not the easy path for me. I sacrificed much for this life/career but I've never felt entitled to it. I realize that a certain amount of luck and genes and a ton of support from my parents, husband, friends has made where I am today possible. Yet I have to say that the struggles, the work, the time invested has been worth it. And for the most part I've enjoyed it and I think know I will love being a doctor! So that is good...

I am so grateful that in just a few weeks (okay 2 and 3/7 weeks, aka 17 days) I will find out where I matched (granted that I do, but the optimist in me doesn't actually believe that not matching is a possibility). And in 17 days we will find out where we will be moving and living and working for the next five years and that is oh so exciting!

Also, I was also going to share some big news with my family and friends on Match Day. You see I am 8+ weeks pregnant and had planned to announce both at the same time. However the pregnancy is not viable and so I'm going to be medically induced this weekend and that kind of sucks. Because I was excited to be pregnant and it was mostly good. The polyuria, constipation, sore boobs, insomnia and fatigue not so much... But the knowing I was pregnant and the minimal morning sickness. The possibility of a brand new baby was inspiring and exciting and good. Of course it was also a bit scary and the timing was less than ideal. It won't be so horrible to NOT be 6 months pregnant when I start residency. There is something to be said for establishing oneself as a person/resident and making an impression before being the "pregnant resident" so for that reason I can say there is a silver lining. Oh and I am very happy to be drinking my two favorite beverages again (coffee and wine). I didn't miss them as much as I feared but I welcome them both back with welcome arms. Being caffeinated on 3 hours of sleep is a definite positive and I do love me some Pinot Noir so I can't say I'm sad that I no longer have to abstain with dinner....

So yeah, lemonade really is okay.

I guess that's all I've got for now. Happy Hump Day!

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