Not a fairy tale but something like that

Life may not have fairy tale endings of happily-ever-after.

But....

Plus, there is happiness if you know where to look.

I have just two days of medical school left and I recently found out that my first medicine patient is home and no longer on dialysis. This is good news, the best news possible! I expected for him to be on a kidney transplant list or worse by now. But instead he is living his life and his kidneys are functioning well enough to allow him to skip dialysis. He is so young and has so much life ahead of him. I can only hope that he gets to live it.

I also found out that one of my neurosurgery patients is making amazing progress at rehab. Prior to being a neurosurgery patient he was an amazing, smart, able-bodied father and grandfather. And then he fell off a ladder while doing some home repairs. He left the hospital with very limited control of one extremity and was largely non-communicative with a trach and G-tube in place. I  really didn't know know what kind of life he would live again.  However he is now in a wheelchair, wheeling himself around, as well as eating and talking. I saw a video of him yesterday and could not believe it was the same patient that graced the service the entire month I was on.

I am so glad I have some happy patient stories to end medical school with. (I have plenty of not so happy endings to share too, but not today.)

Today is about reflecting on the good.

The amazing, brave and resilient patients I have met.
The thoughtful and helpful nurses and staff.
The dedicated professors and attendings.
The mentors that have taken the time to inspire and help me become who I am today.
My wonderful support system: my husband, my parents, my dear friends.

I did not get here by myself. The end of medical school is around the corner but it is not my celebration alone. I appreciate everyone who helped me along the way. There were dragons and they were slain.

Life may not be about fairy tale endings but my end of medical school is happily-ever-after or close enough to it for me.

"I get to be a doctor!" and catharsis

I think it is finally starting to sink in... And I am SO excited. Happy. Relieved. Thrilled to be done with applications. Secure, finally knowing what I am going to do for the next five years. Over the moon to say that I am going to be a Child Neurologist. All of it.

I am going to be a Texan and while I am still not sure what to think of that part, it does not matter because in five weeks I finish medical school and in just than two months I start residency. And that makes it ALL worth it. I am not saying that it was easy or that the hard work is over, but I am going to be a doctor and for that I am grateful, appreciative and humbled...

But for those who ever doubted me I have a few words.

Dear Dean Z,
You were my first doubter and hater. You promised me/us: the pre-med class of Freshmen, that only one out of ten would enter medical school and that we should just give up before we even took organic chemistry. You convinced many a classmate that she should enter law school, find another major or simply do anything else, yet you didn't convince me. You did however make is seem like going abroad for a semester or taking a science lab course over the summer would seal my fate of not being a competitive applicant. I am sorry I listened to you...  I did not go abroad because of you.... I regret that now because it wouldn't have made a difference, I would still be here today and would have had an awesome life experience in the meanwhile. But I didn't know that then. However, today I am here as a matched medical student and all your doom and gloom  didn't stop me. Sure I cried leaving the pre-med office more times than not, but I made it despite your prophecies. What you didn't know is that you cannot squelch true passion and that now matter how many times you told me I would not make it, I was not hearing your words.

Dear Biology Professor and Student Advisor,
You told me that a Child Psychiatrist was overqualified to talk to children. I didn't believe you then and I still don't believe you now. You were a horrible student counselor and I am glad I left your office and never went back.

Dear Physiology Professor,
I came to your office to discuss my grade and standing in your class. You asked me what my plan B was. I told you I had none. You didn't think this was smart and so I thought about your question and tried to come up with a plan B, but the thing is, I really didn't have the heart to do anything else and luckily I didn't have to. Sure my Plan A took a few more years to achieve than I had originally planned but I met my husband, lived in NYC and grew up a bit in the process, I have no regrets and no plan B!

Dear Child Neurology Interviewer,
You asked me how as an IMG I expected to match. And maybe you were trying to protect me or nicely say that I was not a competitive applicant... but yet you were interviewing me, so why was that? You also asked me who in my family was a physician and clearly didn't like my answer. Maybe you only want residents of physician families and groomed US Medical Student graduates but that is okay, because I don't want to be a part of such a program and that is why I ranked your program last. I guess it is lucky for both of us that I matched elsewhere. You are welcome!

Happy Residency Fate Day aka Match Day 2013!

I'm matched!

And if you have matched too, congratulations!

If you are looking for the SGU Match List then look no further. Of course it is a work in progress but it is being updated so keep refreshing. For those that matched things look good! Congrats on all of your hard work and the fruition of your labor. Enjoy today, you deserve it!

For those that did not and were unsuccessful in SOAP my sincere and heartfelt sympathies to you. It is not fair or right that you should finish four years of medical school and not match into residency, it angers me that SGU cannot do more to help its students and that it is expected that a certain number will not match and that this is "okay". It is not and I am sorry! Please know that I do care and realize that it could have been me... Keep the faith and fix what needs to be fixed, next year you will be successful.

As for me, it is official, we will be moving to Texas as I have matched in one of my top choices at UT Houston in Child Neurology. I am very excited and feel that this program has many strengths and will be a good fit for me! I am a little hesitant to move to TX and am not sure what I think of Houston but we are doing this. That being said, I'm accepting any and all advise on where to live, dog parks to visit, how to make the most out of Houston, etc. We may need to adjust to the humidity and hot weather but I'm sure we will manage. What can you tell me about Houston dear reader?

I'm off to celebrate but just wanted to let everyone know, in case you don't have Facebook or access to me that way. Congrats again to all my classmates and thank you for your support and encouragement.

better than one is two, aka my happy dance

Interviews that is! So far I've applied to 92 programs: 49 child neuro, 53 peds and have received one rejection, four thank-you-for-applying-we-will-let-you-knows' and one plus one (TWO!!!) interviews at places I would be very happy to go! One is for an over-the-moon amazing place and I feel honored to even get to interview there, the other a solid university program, both are for child neurology. I'm sure the tide will turn but I'm quite happy with my 2:1- interview:rejection ratio at the moment. Amazed, excited, surprised and very, very happy. I really didn't think I would get interviews so early or at such great places... It may be that child neuro is an open field with very few applicants or that I have an amazing letter writer or that research matters and I happen to have that, or who knows? Whatever, I'll take it. I didn't go into the application cycle very confident so this week has done wonders for my self-esteem. So here is to the two!

And in celebration of applications being in and my month of child neurology being over I am in Park City, UT with my parents enjoying a week filled with hiking, cards, kayaking, biking, swimming, hot-tubs and whatever else we decide to do. Life it good.