"I get to be a doctor!" and catharsis

I think it is finally starting to sink in... And I am SO excited. Happy. Relieved. Thrilled to be done with applications. Secure, finally knowing what I am going to do for the next five years. Over the moon to say that I am going to be a Child Neurologist. All of it.

I am going to be a Texan and while I am still not sure what to think of that part, it does not matter because in five weeks I finish medical school and in just than two months I start residency. And that makes it ALL worth it. I am not saying that it was easy or that the hard work is over, but I am going to be a doctor and for that I am grateful, appreciative and humbled...

But for those who ever doubted me I have a few words.

Dear Dean Z,
You were my first doubter and hater. You promised me/us: the pre-med class of Freshmen, that only one out of ten would enter medical school and that we should just give up before we even took organic chemistry. You convinced many a classmate that she should enter law school, find another major or simply do anything else, yet you didn't convince me. You did however make is seem like going abroad for a semester or taking a science lab course over the summer would seal my fate of not being a competitive applicant. I am sorry I listened to you...  I did not go abroad because of you.... I regret that now because it wouldn't have made a difference, I would still be here today and would have had an awesome life experience in the meanwhile. But I didn't know that then. However, today I am here as a matched medical student and all your doom and gloom  didn't stop me. Sure I cried leaving the pre-med office more times than not, but I made it despite your prophecies. What you didn't know is that you cannot squelch true passion and that now matter how many times you told me I would not make it, I was not hearing your words.

Dear Biology Professor and Student Advisor,
You told me that a Child Psychiatrist was overqualified to talk to children. I didn't believe you then and I still don't believe you now. You were a horrible student counselor and I am glad I left your office and never went back.

Dear Physiology Professor,
I came to your office to discuss my grade and standing in your class. You asked me what my plan B was. I told you I had none. You didn't think this was smart and so I thought about your question and tried to come up with a plan B, but the thing is, I really didn't have the heart to do anything else and luckily I didn't have to. Sure my Plan A took a few more years to achieve than I had originally planned but I met my husband, lived in NYC and grew up a bit in the process, I have no regrets and no plan B!

Dear Child Neurology Interviewer,
You asked me how as an IMG I expected to match. And maybe you were trying to protect me or nicely say that I was not a competitive applicant... but yet you were interviewing me, so why was that? You also asked me who in my family was a physician and clearly didn't like my answer. Maybe you only want residents of physician families and groomed US Medical Student graduates but that is okay, because I don't want to be a part of such a program and that is why I ranked your program last. I guess it is lucky for both of us that I matched elsewhere. You are welcome!


  1. Hello!

    I'm a fellow SGU student and I have been reading your blog for some time! I just wanted to say congratulations on your hard work. That may not mean much to you coming from a complete stranger but this particular post really resonated with me. I'm looking forward to writing my own letters in a few years when I'm standing where you are!


    1. Hi S,

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Best of luck with your basic science years and beyond, I only hope that in four years time you can write your own letters too!


  2. I am so thrilled for you! I love your letters and am horrified you went through such bad experiences.

    1. thanks gf! appreciate you, i really do! xoxo

    2. I remember you coming off fresh from the "who in your family is a dr" interview and hoping at that moment you wouldn't end up there. Loved your blog post in reply. I'm selfishly glad you'll be a Texan because we head that way every so often.

      And I appreciate you too... thank goodness there are people like you who can withstand all this...

  3. S (the other one)4/15/13, 6:16 AM

    Way to show those haters! I'm so so thrilled for you and I know you're gonna make for an amazing Child Neurologist. Can't wait to see what great things are in store for you next :)