Give me five!

Tomorrow I will find out IF I matched. Friday I will find out where. So I guess this is my final double countdown day.

For the SGU Match List look no further. Right now it just has those that have pre-matched or matched in Canada. It will be updated on Friday and thereafter. It always takes awhile but the link remains the same.

Five days and today I'm thinking of Minnesota.

Things you should know about my MN rank:

1. The program rocks.

2. Gypsy girl is from MN and she is awesome so I think her state must be awesome too.

3. The State abbreviation is the reverse of my home state. NM. MN. I think this is kind of cool.

4. There are over 10,000 natural lakes in the state, but NONE in Olmsted county where Rochester is located, go figure!

5. Home of this lovely couple: Fran and Marlo Cowan, married for 62 years when this was filmed. And what is better than that?

B is for....

Beantown.
Boston.
Best (city, ever)!
Boyfriend (the person I feel in love with in Boston almost 11 years ago)
Bruins.
Beanpot.
BU.
BC sucks (sorry Nutmeg)!
Boylston Street.
Brighton.
Braintree.
Bunker Hill.
Big Dig.
Belong.

12 days until the match, 12 possibilities and today I'm dreaming of Boston...

dog days and date nights

I'm in San Diego for the weekend and it is glorious.

I spent the day with my puppy. We went to the dog park and farmers market. I gave hime a bath and made the apartment smell nice (not like a dog). I visited Dr. Boyfriend at work for lunch and lounged around all afternoon reading, painting my nails and watching West Wing on Netflix.

And right now it is time for date night. We are going to a hot new restaurant and then maybe a movie, depending upon how long dinner takes and how awake I am. Either way, I'm just happy to be here.

20 days until match. The waiting continues but life goes on.

Happy Saturday and weekend to you!

Residency Fate Day Countdown

Just 14 days until rank order lists are due and 37 days until Match Day! Very exciting. And kind of scary, but mostly exciting.... In a month and a week I'll find out where I matched and where we will be living for the next 3-5 years. And then before I know it intern year will be here and I'll be doing what I have only dreamed of up to this point.

Right now I'm doing at IM-TSS (Internal Med, Teaching Selective Service) in Cali and trying to remember all the adult medicine that I have not had to practice or use in months! I think my brain has atrophied during 4th year. It is truly sad how little I remember. I know that I used to know all about CHF, Renal Disease, Liver Failure, you know, the bread and butter adult medicine stuff... but I just don't have the immediate recall and end up having to look up EVERYTHING. Kind of embarrassing as I'm a big, grown-up MS IV. Yet it seems my medical knowledge is a file cabinet that has to be opened and indexed constantly, it is not a ready to read book like I want it to be. Not yet. But I guess that's why you have to do residency... to learn what you have learned and to practice and practice.

On the bright side I love, love, love talking to my patients, explaining diagnosis, getting code status confirmed, calling consults, writing order and just generally acting like a doctor. IM-TSS is a Hospitalist run service with no residents which means the MS IVs are the acting residents. It is like a sub-I without resident support. But I love that part of it. And the taking care of my patients part. I don't love it when my patient ends up needing to be intubated and upgraded to the ICU. But he is okay and I don't think I could have done anything differently or prevented his intubation... Medicine is awesome and I am humbled daily to be reminded that this is what I get to do with my life.

Residency Fate Day countdown is underway.... 37 more wake-ups to go!

For Dr Boyfriend and Sancho

Dr Boyfriend is my love. My rock. My best friend. My biggest supporter and as of late also my editor, personal assistant, travel manager and pep-talker. He married me and then I promptly left for medical school. (Thank you boyfriend!)

Right now our is a marriage via Skype, but it works. We have an amazing foundation and we know that we have the rest of our lives together so he supports me in what I want/need/have to do right now which is finish medical school. Even if it means we seldom sleep in the same bed or occupy the same time zone.

He loves Christmas as much/maybe more (is that possible?) than I do. We are so different and yet we share enough that we are happy together. I am sad when we are apart and cry often because I miss him. He is the romantic but I am the emotional sap. These last 3 and 1/2 years have been hard but I am lucky because I never once doubted our relationship, our ability to make it through. And now the end is in sight.

Dr Boyfriend is on a plane and on his way to meet me in NYC for New Year's and we will run our 5K in Prospect Park and cross the finish line before 2013. It is our new tradition and I cannot wait. 2013 awaits and I am in love with my husband...

And we both love our puppy. Sancho is probably the most significant thing to happen to us as a couple in 2012 and it was more rewarding and more fun and more stressful than I could have ever imagined or hoped. I never knew it was possible to love a dog so much. But we do. 

Dr Boyfriend and Sancho do their best to make me happy. And it is enough. So this is for them. The last of my virtual ornaments and an adieu to 2012....

Care

Care. Because you have to. Otherwise what is the point?

Interconnected. We are. And here is my proof.

In 2009 I started this blog. In 2010 I went to medical school and started reading other medical blogs. In 2011 I found Grady Doctor's awesome blog. In 2012 I found "a moon..." via Grady Doctor's blog roll. In 2012 I posted a comment on "a moon..." which became a post and generated far more comments that I could have ever hoped, dreamed or imagined.

Today Grady Doctor wrote this post and to me its essence was caring.... I then worked on a project for Elizabeth of "a moon" and realized that it simply came to down to caring... And so this is my reminder that what started at a selfish on-line travel journal for myself has led me to an awesome community and gives me daily reminders to care. And we should all care. About something. About ourselves. About one another. For one another. Just care!

For Sophie

and Elizabeth over at a moon, worn as if it had been a shell

This virtual ornament is the idea that inspired virtual ornaments. I was at the American Epilepsy Society meeting last week and came across this ornament which I knew I had to have. I was originally going to send it to Elizabeth and Sophie but then realized that they live with epilepsy EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and thus really don't need an ornament to remind them... but I do love me some purple and so why couldn't I have the ornament for my tree? And so I donated some money and took it home... where it now resides.

As you may know I am applying for residency in Child Neurology and a large portion of my future patients will have epilepsy. This is no cure. There are medications and diets and surgeries that sometimes work, for some patients and there there are those like Sophie who are somehow above any treatments the medical world throws their way. My heart breaks, it does. I don't know if we will ever have the ever-elusive "cure" as there are so many reasons for and varieties of epilepsy but I do know that part of my career will be interacting with the families affected. Elizabeth and other bloggers have opened my eyes to the lives that are lived beyond the walls of the hospital or medical clinic. The world of IEPs and wheelchairs and affected marriages but most of all the world of love that they (Sophie,  Calvin, Max, Pearlsky) create as part of being. The compassionate siblings and more patient parents. The better world. And so to Sophie and Elizabeth I dedicate this ornament. One for my tree, one for theirs....

For S

This ornament is hung on my tree at home but today I am virtually hanging it here for S, over at A Thousand Times Over.

Way back in December 2008 when this blog was still only an idea I found her blog and was inspired: by her writing, her dedication and her passion for medicine. It was present then and it is present now. These past four years may not have culminated exactly as S had planned, but she still has a passion and desire to enter medicine and she will make a damn good doctor when she is given the chance. I am thinking of her this match season and I am hoping/wishing that 2013 allows her to finally fulfill her dream and match into IM so that she can show the world what I know is true.

Life does not always work out as planned but I do believe in persistence and I know that S does too. So  to S, please don't ever, ever, ever give up!

Virtual Ornaments

I am not sure exactly why, but I've been thinking of people that I only know because of this blog lately... And well, while we may not be meet-for-coffee or call-up-on-the-phone friends we share a world and we share a community and so this holiday season I've been thinking of them...

And if you know me or have been following this blog for any length of time you know how much I LOVE all things Christmas.

Ornaments are especially one of my Christmas time favorites and so I give you virtual ornaments.  (Ornaments that I would very much like to find wrap and send but I don't even know the addresses of any of these bloggers, just their web addresses.) I will dedicate these ornaments to those fellow blogger that have inspired me this year. Those bloggers that made me laugh or cry or just make me think.

Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and good cheer to all this Holiday Season!

Love,
Spice Queen

Summer in the city, Sancho updates, Camp is Magic and other random things...

Don't you just love NYC in the summer? I do. I took this photo shortly before I left the city on one of those hot, humid nights when all the hydrants were open to cool off the kids and city.

Anyhow... I'm back from my whirlwind of Teen Adventure MS Camp and trip home to NM to visit my family. It has been quite the two weeks and everything was great but I have to say I am happy to be back in NYC and back in my bed. 

I start my Child Advocacy elective tomorrow and am looking forward to it...

I have so many things to share, it has been a busy couple of weeks but for now I just want to say I'm home (well my temporary home) but once again separated from my husband and puppy. Its hard to be away after a week together. I miss them both but they are also home and Sancho has claimed the living room. Literally. He personally unpacked all of his toys and spread them out as seen here.  He also seems to have perfected the stretch. He really isn't THAT much bigger than when we got him but he seems to take up so much more space (when he wants to.)

My little guy is growing up. Tear.

Meet Sancho the puppy!

In case you are wondering this is a very non-medical school post ahead. So if you are looking for some SGU insight feel free to come back another day. However if you have any new puppy advice or want to just kill some time please do continue.

---
In developing news the big Bday surprise for Dr. Boyfriend was a huge success! We are now proud new furr-parents of a 3 month old American Staff Terrier/Boxer/Mix.

Meet Sancho!
We picked him up this afternoon and he is home and adjusting very well. He likes his crate and is semi-okay with being confined to the kitchen for now. Housebreaking will start in earnest in the AM but he quickly learned to use the WeeWee pads we put down and has demonstrated great love, playfulness and his personality is really starting to show. For the most part he seems like a happy-go-lucky guy. No whining or crying (yet) and he seldom barks. Although he seems to have a bit of an URI and a cough. We thought maybe it was just the Bordetella vaccine administered nasally but as the night goes on I'm becoming more and more certain he has a doggie cold. He sounds kind of congested, poor thing.

I haven't had a puppy since I was in middle school so I'm a bit new to all of this. We walked him around the neighborhood and despite his initial fear of cars, stairs, other dogs and the airplanes flying overhead (we live pretty close to the airport) he did very well. Everything is of course new to him but it was kind of funny to see him refuse to use the stairs or step off the curb. It was definitely one of the more entertaining dog walks I've ever experienced.

Anyhow after his dinner and our several attempts to have him potty outside failed we let him use the WeeWee pads inside and the he curled up and fell fast asleep. That was at 8:30pm. Dr. B and I made dinner and had chance to relax for a minute but by the time we were ready for bed Sancho was awake and looking concerned. But we put him in his crate and he allowed us a few hours of sleep before Dr. B heard him stirring around midnight. After a quick pee he went right back to bed and sleep. What a good dog!

But I didn't... insomnia kept me up for awhile and then I heard a commotion and found Sancho staring at the Wee Wee pad corner so I let him out of his crate. He didn't want to go back in so I allowed him a quick playtime and then left him with free reign of the kitchen. After faking me out and settling into his bed I left him. But then he promptly decided to use the WeeWee pad again, this time leaving a rather smelly mess (but at least he did it where we asked him to). By the time I had cleaned up Sancho was wide awake and wanted to play, and play, and play. So we had some puppy playtime at 2am. I left him after a few minutes and started to blog from the other room where I could still see him. And I think he just fell asleep as I hear a very congested snore.

Yep, he's asleep. So maybe now I should try to do the same... I have a feeling he'll be awake in a few short hours. Oh the joys of multiple night awakenings. But it is all part of the process. And a fun distraction from Step 2 studying.

Home pictures of Sancho will be forthcoming but in the meantime you can read about him and his family via Petfinder and the amazing work of The Barking Lot rescue group.

Welcome home Sancho, welcome home.

Happy Easter- links

Happy Easter.  Happy Passover. Or simply Happy Spring, whatever you may or may not be celebrating I hope you have a wonderful Sunday.

Here are just some links for the day from my early morning reading before I head to the hospital in my Easter socks. The Easter egg hunt and decorating has been postponed to next weekend when Dr. Boyfriend will be visiting (and also it will be Greek Easter then.)

-A "Good Friday" post  on death, but beautiful all the same. Grady Doctor often makes me cry.

-Reflecting on my non-zebra patient and wondering if/when he'll get his kidney. Here is a story of love and hope. 

-Call for all of us to do our part and fight childhood obesity. That means you, dad/dude!

10 fingers, 10 toes...

I just finished my two weeks of inpatient floor work and next I have a full week of newborn nursery. We had an intro lecture on Thursday and I'm quite excited. How cool is it that I will get to check a newborn and perform physical exams for the very first time for these little ones? Plus they are cute even if there heads are molded into some interesting shapes from the delivery process. And I am sure I'll learn a ton too. Time to brush up on causes of neonatal jaundice.

Peds soldiers on and I'm loving it. Show me the babies!

auntie love

I love being an aunt. I love the feel of little hands searching for mine in the dark theatre and not letting go, the entire show. I love the questions, the awe of a 7 year old and the smarts of a 9 year old. We had a most wonderful afternoon, just us three girls. No tears, no fighting, just a fun-filled time watching Cinderella (the girls favorite), Little Red Riding Hood (my favorite) and a few other story book characters come to life in "Into the Woods" the musical.  We only stayed for Act 1 and it was perfect in length and substance. Not too long, not too scary and everyone got their happily ever after...

I love being an aunt. I love that we had to dig up bugs with big sticks. I love that during hide & seek the same hiding spot never gets old. I love that at 4 years old he wants to know when his voice will change and that I am the one he thinks to ask. Boys can be fun too.

I love being an aunt and for the next 8 days that is my sole purpose. 
(I promise to return to normal med school blogging soon.)

7 words

Describe the thing you love most in seven words:

boyfriend is the perfect one for me

(my) rainbow in an otherwise dark cloudy sky

acts like life's purpose is my happiness

excellent doctor, like I'll strive to be

---
I don't often blog about my husband but he is my best friend, cheerleader, support, entertainment and the love of my life. I couldn't imagine medical school without him by my side (via Skype counts).

It has been a decade of togetherness and although neither of us are perfect I do believe we are perfect for one another. This is my blog about medical school and becoming a doctor but my relationships are part of that process and his is one of the most important in my life.

To love and life happily ever after!

Boyfriend's Carrot Muffins

Since I have time to bake again and husband was craving some carrot muffins I came up with these. They were inspired by this NYTimes recipe but I didn't like the recipe contained oil so I made my own, aka adapted from several others. (Dr. Boyfriend is doing Weight Watchers and I try to make baked goods that he can eat and not have to sacrifice many points for....)

To make this is what you need:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (or soft white-wheat flour)
• 3/4 cup brown sugar (or 1/4 cup Splenda brown sugar blend)
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 2/3 cup nonfat vanilla yogurt
• 2/3 cup skim milk
• 1 1/2 cups grated carrots
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (or raisins or both!)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mix all dry ingredients and slowly stir in yogurt and milk until wet. Fold in nuts/raisins and divide evenly into greased muffin pan. Makes 12 medium sized muffins. Bake for 20-25 minutes, toothpick should come out clean. Enjoy!

Muffins as made with wheat flour and Splenda blend (no raisins) are 2 points per muffin for Weight Watchers Points Plus.

Happy. Lucky. Loved.

Just a few words to describe my mood at the moment. Yesterday was my birthday and while maybe it could have been depressing to be away from Dr. Boyfriend and studying for midterms it was actually a really great day. I have wonderful friends here and they all came over for wine, cake and nutmeg ice cream.  I am lucky. I get to study all weekend and I am living a pretty good life here in Grenada. Facebook and Skype keep me feeling connected even if I'm an island away. Maybe the grocery store is out of cheese. Maybe I can't good coffee beans here and am risk of running out the week of midterms. But in the scheme of things, in the importance of what really matters, these are minor details. I'm doing what I want with my life. I am lucky to be here. I am loved by my wonderful friends and I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

The Hardest Part

I got married less than 2 months before starting medical school. (Granted we dated for 7 years and were engaged for another one. But in a way, that makes it harder as we were never more than 30 miles apart. Now we live 2000 miles away from one another.) My husband is finishing his residency back in the US while I am here in Grenada. We may both find ourselves in NY in 18 months as I start my clinical years and he completes his fellowhip. Or we could end up in different cities and not live together for another four years. In which case, maybe this is just practice.

But back to the present, I am lucky in that I get to live in married housing. I won't complain about my studio apartment or balcony view. But its just me and my lonely self staring across the terra cotta colored rooftops out at the shimmering turquoise sea. It is easy to fall in love with the view and the surroundings, but it makes you all more aware that you want to be with the love of your life to share it.

I rarely blog about being away from my hubby and it is not because I don't miss him. To me, its a given that I will and do miss him and so I negate to mention him. Not because he is not on my mind, but precisely because he is on my mind, all of the time. Yes Skype helps and so does being busy with studying, but after spending the summer together it is difficult not to notice the silence and absence of your partner. Good friends help. I don't know what I would do without them. But try at the might, they are not boyfriend.

I don't regret for a second being here and I know we will survive the long-distance relationship... but in case you were wondering, doing this is the hardest part.